so how about i completely forgot about this thing.. so i guess that its safe to say that its update time!
school is ok.. im havin a little trouble in some of my classes but it should turn out ok..
life had thrown me a few curve balls in the past few weeks that were not so easy to bounce back from... durning these past weeks i realized a few things.. one must be able to take responsibility for ones actions and be full aware of the situation that u might find urself being put into.
i also came to another conclusion.. high school is over. its been over. i dont understand how pplz can get mad or upset when i cant hang out with them. when i come home for the weekends i try and spend as much time as possible with jimmy, my closer friends, and my family. and with those three pplz it gets hard. but when pplz complain about never seeing me so i make the effort to hang out.. and they always have something to do.. then wtf! stop bein stupid and stop complaining!!!
i do wish that i could have more time with some other pplz that i havent really had the chance to hang out with. but as of now i cant... and im sry
newaaaaaaaayz.. im in oceanography and im bored! lol i cant wait to get outta here! =P
see this photo... lookin at it makes me wanna cry... i remember those days... when we all just hung out and had a good time wit each other... didnt matter wat we were doin, or the drama of the world around us... we had fun. even tho im not gaming and im behind the camera... i felt involved and cared for... it didnt matter if i was playin or not... it didnt matter where we were. cuz we were all best friends. now where r we? rivalries, mistrust, jealousy, and drama... and dont forget about the world tryin to take us away from each other. and unfortunately, i think its working... i used to see these pplz all the time, never got tired of them or aggrivated wit something they did... or didnt do. we used to do things... and now it seems all i ever see is this small bedroom of mine, the inside of cars, faces of those who are hiddin things... we all look so happy... wat happened? idk y ive been like this... like i said in my last post... who knows wat it is...
in exactly 1 month from today im leaving and starting a new chapter in my life. wat ppl dont seem to understand is... just be cuz u start a new chapter doesnt mean all the ppl that were in the chapters before disappear. they might show up less often, but they are always there. u can always flip back a few pages and read wat has happened... and look forward to the end... becuz u kno they will be there... bcuz they always are. no matter wat happens in the world this little group always finds a way. some pplz need to get over certain things and move on. cuz friendship is wayyy more important than the current drama.
i like this vox thing... i feel like i ca write more things down and help keep them straight in my head. i also have an issue wit expressing myself if i am anything but happy... i dont really kno how to do it effectively... so i find writing them down helps. i can sort things out then talk about them. so if i gave u this site... i trust u enough to show u my personal thoughts and feelings...
seein as i only have one friend atm i dont see any real harm im sayin some stuff.... this summer has been ok.... prolly cuz i expected too much goin into it... fam is difficult and friends are confusing... but its nothin i havent dealt wit b4. ive seen jimmy a lot lately... but i feel like i havent hung out wit him in forever... i think i feel this way cuz im leavin in a month, alomst exactly, and i dont wanna go. yet i do. the only thing really keepin me here is jimmy, a few close friends, my mom, and my sis. but in a sense that shouldnt stop me and thats y i chose to go away for school. but i think im treating leaving like im never coming bak. wich i horse shyt cuz i would never leave these certain pplz completely. id go thru hell and hight water to see these pplz... especally jimmy... so y am i acting like this? y am i clinging on so hard? is it becuz im afraid they're gonna move on and find some1 new and cooler to hang out and forget all about me? thats silly tho cuz they wouldnt... they're my bestfriends and the love of my life... so they really wouldnt... so much goin thru my head and i really cant say anything about it cuz thats all ive been talkin about... thats wat ive been holdin on to all these weeks... thats yi get upset easily... or is it? is it something else? a lot of major things have happened this summer... this yr in fact.... maybe it just hasnt registered wit me yet... maybe thats wat im holding on to... memories and old worries... maybe...
hey, if ur talking about me being one of those ppl I'm sry hun. I didn't mean to upset you.... read more
on my bad...